


As Many Times As I Blink

by Sarcastic_Cupcake



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Choices, Confusion, Drabble, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Slice of Life, Teenage Drama, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8300389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcastic_Cupcake/pseuds/Sarcastic_Cupcake
Summary: To the person who makes me feel special.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title may or may not have been stolen from a song that makes me think of a certain someone...

Liking him was like staring into the sun. Blinded by his knowledge, I was left in awe of the intelligence that he seemed to possess. Any time I looked away, I was confronted by the void, the realization that nothing could ever be as bright as this unattainable being of perfection. And yet I knew that logically, there must be others, if I could only draw my eyes away for long enough to let my vision return.

Something prompted a change. Like trying to solve a puzzle, only to find that there are jagged edges where smooth curves should fit, I began to feel that he, perhaps, was lacking some critical element that I had overlooked until now. Inconceivable! But true. Perfect only in his aptitude and capacity for learning, his comportment and empathy left much to be desired. Frustration gave way to anger, forcing me to close my eyes and breathe. Opening them again, I realized that I could look at others more clearly. No longer gazing unblinkingly at the infallible star in my sky, I turned to discover that he had led me to somewhere I had already been before.

I was

lost (found?)

when I saw

you (again!).

* * *

 Seeing you again

this time

eyes clear

I caught my mistake

too soon.

Wanting what?

to scream?

to laugh?

to cry?

to smile?

An old flame

never fully extinguished

sparking to life,

igniting an inferno.

I tried (too) hard

to hide it.

Thinking of you

gave credibility

to my lies.

Did I succeed?

Yes. (No!)

But now.

Gossip my only source of information (truth?), I hope with all my heart.

* * *

With all my heart, I wish for it to be true. I pray for you to see though my lies, told so convincingly. I want this to be the world in which our story has a happy ending…but I leave the decision up to you. This path, although it may involve us both, is yours to start down. I cannot make this choice for you.


End file.
